Great video here with these three stalwarts.
It’s easy to think that marriage is about falling in love. But, marriage is actually God bringing two people together to display His covenant faithfulness in a human picture. This video helps get to some of this reality.
In light of Pastor Mark’s recent post Loving the Pastor’s Wife and my sermon last night on marriage being something God has done to point to the Gospel, I thought I should say something about what a blessing my wife is. I’ve been enormously encouraged by her in recent days through some internal struggles I was facing. She is definitely a “helper fit for me.” What I appreciate about her is her willingness to fly behind the scenes and devote herself to me and our family. Her life is given to serve in the church in ways, but her priority is to the Lord and, as such, the ministry we have been knit together to enjoy.
Even today, I got continual encouragements from her on a pretty consistent basis. So, thank God for the gift that He has given me and pray that Meg will love the Savior first and in so doing continue to be a gift to me (and Crestview).
Great Lord’s Day at Crestview today.
In the AM, we started on the book of Hebrews with a sermon entitled Introductory Matters, which looks at the big themes that we see in the book of Hebrews. Great time around those truths.
In the PM, my sermon Marriage Foundation: God, sought to counter our culture’s view of marriage by looking at how God loved us in Christ as the foundation for marriage.
This Sunday night, I plan to preach on Genesis 2:18-25 and point to God’s desire for our marriages. To put it simply, we are to center on Him.
To open the message, I will allude to this quote on the Girl Talk site on An Ideal Marriage:
What do you want from your marriage? What would you change if you could?
No doubt something, or many things, come to mind. In one way or another marriage has probably fallen short of your expectations. But we must consider: where does our definition of “the ideal marriage” come from?
Do we get our cues from the culture and its illusive ideal of a mutually satisfying relationship? Do we compare our marriage to our friends’ marriages, to our everlasting disappointment? Or are we myopically focused on our husband’s weaknesses as the cause of our less than ideal marriage?
We need to ask: What does God want from my marriage? What does He want to change? What is His ideal?
Would it surprise you to know that His goal is not for you and your husband to have a “mutually satisfying relationship”, or to have a marriage that’s as good as or better than your friends, or to finally change that husband of yours?
His goal is far greater than that. His agenda far more glorious, far more satisfying.
What does God’s ideal marriage look like?
The answer begins with a story. A long story. A beautiful story. The story of marriage in the Bible.
I hope to see you this Sunday PM and hope you find encouragement for your marriage and your lofty ideals.
This sermon, Cultivating a Healthy Marriage by Tim Keller was recommended to me and I’ve found it helpful. Here’s a summary of one section and how the Gospel brings perspective:
Human Heart Presupposition:
I’ll be the spouse I should be; if and to the degree you’re the spouse you should be.Gospel Reenactment:
I’ll be the spouse I should be even if you’re not the spouse you should be since Jesus loved me in spite of me.
Listen and all your message to be shaped by the Gospel.
(*Updated with the following outline…)
Cultivating a Healthy Marriage
Timothy and Kathy Keller
1.Think of marriage like a garden
A. Whether rain or draught is going to take lots of work
B. Marriage is not the flowers, sod, or leaves but it’s to the best fruit out of the “garden”
C. Can’t walk away from a garden for a few days and think it took care of itself
2.Planning/Planting
A. Why did you get married?
1. Happiness?
2. Family Stability?
3. Both 1 and 2 are unbiblical!
B. Gospel Reenactment is the purpose
1. Requires Gospel Motivation
2. Sacrificial love creates freedom
3. Sacrificial love is always an action first and feeling second
4. Servant or ministry perspective should always be used
3. Headship – both husband and wife play Jesus
A. Husband is the head of the family like Jesus is head of church
B. Wife plays Jesus submitting to the Father to glorify and serve
C. Both headship reveal God’s character because male and female are both created in God’s image
D. Helper possesses strengths the other doesn’t
4. Authority
A. Never used to get something they want
B. Always a gift and used in service to the best interests of the other
C. Voluntary submission between equals
D. Jesus gave used His authority as a sacrifice and will be forever in glory
5. Submission
A. Jesus revolutionizes headship and submission
B. He is exalted above all for His service to God’s children
C. Never submit to a man who is habitually sinning against God
6.Communication
A. Always ask, “What is the goal in what I’m about to say?”
B. Remember the log in your eye
C. Attack the problem not the person
D. Slow down your responses and let the other talk
7.Love Language
A. Behaviors that others do to make me feel loved
B. Speak in the same language. If you speak in French or German your English speaking spouse won’t get it.
8.Conflict Resolution
A. Conflict avoiders and conflict confronters, which are you and why?
B. Use all your energy to solve the problem instead of attacking
C. Keeping a scorecard is a recipe for death in any relationship and especially marriage!
D. The occasion of the conflict never supersedes the cause of the conflict. The cause is always a sinful heart!!
9.Repentance and forgiveness
A. Truth without love ends in breaking people apart
B. Love without truth leads to avoidance of the problem and zero growth
C. No excuses, center on the wrong, and offer to change
My sermon for Mike Vernon and Renee Swisher’s wedding is quoted below. I was “inspired” so to speak by reading Peter Leithart’s A Great Mystery: Fourteen Wedding Sermons
Just one month ago, Time Magazine’s cover asked the question “Who Needs Marriage?” What the article in that cover story went on to show was that many in our nation and culture view marriage as an optional thing. The author, Belinda Luscombe argues that marriage is “in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be,” she has a rationale to back up her argument. “Neither men nor women need to be married to have sex or companionship or professional success or respect or even children.” This is the prevailing opinion of our culture. Marriage is dying.
But, we read in God’s Word that marriage isn’t an optional thing or just an afterthought but at the core of God’s plan for our lives (Read Genesis 2:18-25)
It wasn’t good that man and woman be alone, so God created the institution of marriage. God set this apart to be the foundation of our lives and society.
And tonight, I want you to remember that to have a successful marriage you must remember that marriage is dying. No, don’t just look to culture and what it says. Look to God. Notice that God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and from him created marriage. In other words, for marriage to thrive, you both must die to yourselves and to all the selfish things you would live for. God has told us that our lives are to be governed by 2 realities: loving God and loving others. So, die to yourselves and love God. As God is the priority of your life, loving Renee, Mike and loving Mike, Renee, will inevitably follow.
We know this is the standard because this love is found in God Himself. God didn’t choose selfishness in showing His love for us, but while we were still sinners Christ died for us. And Christ gave Himself for us rather than choosing His own way or the path that was most convenient. For Him to love His people, dying had to occur. Today, Mike & Renee, remember that marriage is dying, and see if you don’t look like your Lord and Savior. May God allow you to live this way.
Yes, today’s sermon, Lordship for Wives, from Colossians 3:18 is online. After calling women to submit to their husbands, talking through the distortions and pointing to how this magnifies the Lordship of Christ, we pressed through to some applications for different groups. I hope this was helpful. There is so much for us a local church to live in light of this text and what it means. I hope women were helped and looking forward to talking to the men next week in v.19.
After reading recommendations online from Andy Naselli and Justin Taylor, Meg and I finally got a chance to watch No Greater Love (DVD).
The trailer can be seen on the movie’s website.
I agreed with JT when he said, “I think it represents a significant advance in Christian filmmaking, with a compelling story, good acting, and very good production values. A few of the minor characters came across as cheesy Christians—but hey, even that’s true to life!” The story is amazing, though. It was so moving to see a compelling, real-to-life scenario intersecting with the truths of Christianity.
I recommend it and hope you enjoy it too.
In my SS class, we are using Paul Tripp’s What Did You Expect?
While I was out at the Pastor’s Conference, I started showing Piper’s Marriage Series from 2007 entitled, Marriage, Christ and Covenant. Here are the two sermons we watched:
Staying Married Is Not About Staying In Love, Part 1
Staying Married Is Not About Staying In Love, Part 2
Variety is the spice of life. Many of our marriages could use a little spice to liven up our time. Men, I know that sometimes it is hard to get creative juices flowing. This post, then, was very helpful in giving 8 Great Date Nights.