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The Gospel and Transforming of Marriage

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I was reminded recently of a post over at Desiring God on Nine Ways The Gospel Transforms Marriage.  I thought remembering these would prove helpful as we think of the Father sending His Son to be the Savior of the world.  So, these 9 ways (drawn from Gary and Betsy Ricucci’s Love That Lasts) could be thought of 9 ways the true meaning of Christmas transforms marriage.  After all, Jesus is called Jesus because He would save His people from their sin (Matthew 1:21).  Here are 9 ways the Gospel directly affects marriage:

1) Because of the gospel, Christians have become new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, in our marriage, our past does not define us, confine us, or determine our future.
2) Because of the gospel, we are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7). Therefore we can live free of all guilt and condemnation for every sin, and we can trust that God, in his mercy, will be gracious to us. 
3) Because of the gospel we can forgive, just as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). Nothing done against us compares to our sin against God. Therefore all offenses, hostility, and bitterness between Christians can be completely forgiven and removed. 
4) Because of the gospel, we are accepted by God (Romans 15:7). Therefore we are not dependent on a spouse for who we are or what we need. 
5) Because of the gospel, sin’s ruling power over us is broken (Romans 6:6, 14). Therefore we can truly obey all that God calls us to do in our marriage, regardless of any circumstance or situation. 
6) Because of the gospel, we have access to God through Christ (Hebrews 4:14-16). Therefore we can at any time take any need in our marriage to the One who can do all things. 
7) Because of the gospel, we have hope (Romans 5:1-4). Therefore we can endure any marital difficulty, hardship, or suffering, with the assurance that God is working all to our greatest good (Romans 8:28). 
8) Because of the gospel, Christ dwells in us by his Holy Spirit (Galatians 3:13-14). Therefore we are confident that God is always with us and is always at work in our marriage, even when progress is imperceptible (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24). 
9) Because of the gospel, we have power to fight and overcome remaining sin, which continues to dwell and war within us (Romans 7:19-21, 24-25; Galatians 5:16-17). This indwelling enemy represents the essence of what is called the doctrine of sin.

Today, then, as you marvel at the birth of your Savior, consider what He did to decisively do something about marriage.

Being A Godly Husband During Advent

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Traditionally, we (men) view the Christmas season as a time for our wives to shine.  So, we leave the tree trimming, baking, holiday decor and family environs to our wives to accomplish.  After all, fluffy trees and baking may not be strong suits for us.  But, what if we viewed this through a different lens?  There are countless opportunities during the holidays to model what loving, sacrificial leadership looks like in our homes.  It can be a special time to die to our selfish desires and serve those we claim to love supremely.

So, here’s a list of 10 things that I’d challenge you with to stretch you that may very well have a profound impact on your family…

1) Ask your wife what you can do to help her in the kitchen.
2) Initiate a family game night with your family.
3) If your family is setting up the tree, make this an exciting time by drawing out stories and memories that come with ornaments.
4) Explain to your children what a joy it is for you to celebrate the holiday season with them.
5) Prioritize moments where your family will be able to worship with other believers during Advent.
6) Plan a surprise date night for your wife and take time to drive around town and look at Christmas lights, just the two of you.
7) Surprise your children by picking them up from school to do a fun holiday activity together.
8) Take steps for your family to serve others in some way.
9) Plan a family movie night and don’t hold anything back.
10) Draw your wife and kids close and read them the Christmas story from Matthew 1 and Luke 2.

What other ways can you think of that might serve your wife and kids?  Wives, what impact would this have on your home?

I hope this Advent season brings the joy of Christ radiating through godly husbands.

Are You Diagnosing Your Marriage?

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Kevin DeYoung provided 10 Diagnostic Questions for marriages this past week.  Maybe they would prove helpful for those who are married:

1. Do you pray together? 
2. Do you still notice each other? 
3. Do you ever hold hands? 
4. When is the last time you said “I’m sorry”? 
5. When is the last time you said, “Thank you”? 
6. When is the last time you planned a surprise? 
7. When is the last time you embarrassed the kids together? 
8. When is the last time you went out and talked about something other than the kids? 
9. What would others think about your spouse just by listening to you speak about him or her? 
10. Do you think more about what you aren’t giving or about what you aren’t getting?

Weekend Review – God Centered Marriage

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My 5/10/15AM sermon, God-Centered Marriage from Genesis 2:18-25, helped launch our new HomeWord series (grounding families in the truth of God’s Word through the Gospel to God’s glory).  This sermon, in particular, focused in on some of the broad contours of what God intends for marriages that honor Him.  For instance, God is the point of marriage, there are roles to be seen, a marriage should think one not two, utilizing wise communication and celebrating physical intimacy are the highlights from this week.  I hope it encourages you and drives to live to God’s glory in your relationships.

Meh-wedge – A Good, Good Thing!

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You might know this past weekend, my wife and I had the privilege, along with our 5 month old, to go to Florida for a beach wedding.  In this case it was for my brother.  While I was in the midst of celebrating Saturday night, I read the following tweet online:

mrmeddersJun 08, 6:23pm via Tweetbot for iOS

If you’re a Christian and you don’t *love* weddings, you don’t have a romance problem—it’s a theological problem.
I don’t know how this thought strikes you, but it made me pause a second and get my bearings.  After all, I was the “trained professional” involved in helping pull off the ceremony and, like most every wedding I was involved in, there are things that make weddings somewhat unlovable.  I’m thinking of the personalities of people involved, all the details coming together at precise moments, in our case, the heat of a summer’s day on the beach dressed in nice clothes, time barriers, a crying child.  

But what is marriage about?  A few years ago, our church was rewriting bylaws and we were adjusting some language on the article on marriage.  We said, we believe marriage is a good thing.  Some people thought it was a little too chatty and didn’t have the “sacred institution” language that had always been there.  But, do you know why we opted for the “good thing” language?  Because the Bible (and, as a result, God) does.

Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
or 
Genesis 2:18-24
God says “It’s not good for man to be alone” and remedies this by creating a wife for Adam. 
God made marriage to be a sacred institution and a “good thing”.  Hebrews 13:4 gives us 2 directions in regard to marriage: to let it be held in honor among all and to keep it pure.  So, marriages, weddings and the uniting of a man and woman together is a great work of God and, thus, Christians should “love” when people gather to celebrate what God has done in bringing a man and woman together.  
That tweet was right on and exactly what I needed in our celebration Saturday to look to the One who gave us this good thing and praise Him.  Hope you can do the same today reflecting on these things.  

Your Marriage Needs The Gospel

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The Gospel Transforms Marriage.  I loved this post over at DG and as I’m working through some pre-martial sessions, I was confronted with these glorious truths again.  Here’s a quote of 9 ways the Gospel transforms marriage:

In their book, Love That Lasts, Gary and Betsy Ricucci list out nine ways that the gospel directly affects marriage (and so much more).

  1. Because of the gospel, Christians have become new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, in our marriage, our past does not define us, confine us, or determine our future.
  2. Because of the gospel, we are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7). Therefore we can live free of all guilt and condemnation for every sin, and we can trust that God, in his mercy, will be gracious to us.
  3. Because of the gospel we can forgive, just as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). Nothing done against us compares to our sin against God. Therefore all offenses, hostility, and bitterness between Christians can be completely forgiven and removed.
  4. Because of the gospel, we are accepted by God (Romans 15:7). Therefore we are not dependent on a spouse for who we are or what we need.
  5. Because of the gospel, sin’s ruling power over us is broken (Romans 6:6, 14). Therefore we can truly obey all that God calls us to do in our marriage, regardless of any circumstance or situation.
  6. Because of the gospel, we have access to God through Christ (Hebrews 4:14-16). Therefore we can at any time take any need in our marriage to the One who can do all things.
  7. Because of the gospel, we have hope (Romans 5:1-4). Therefore we can endure any marital difficulty, hardship, or suffering, with the assurance that God is working all to our greatest good (Romans 8:28).
  8. Because of the gospel, Christ dwells in us by his Holy Spirit (Galatians 3:13-14). Therefore we are confident that God is always with us and is always at work in our marriage, even when progress is imperceptible (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
  9. Because of the gospel, we have power to fight and overcome remaining sin , which continues to dwell and war within us (Romans 7:19-21, 24-25; Galatians 5:16-17). This indwelling enemy represents the essence of what is called the doctrine of sin.
Love That Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace (Crossway, 2006), 22–23, numbering added.

More On Esteeming Marriage

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After my summary of Sunday’s sermon, Esteeming Marriage, yesterday, I thought I’d follow up today with some questions you could work through to further apply the message.

Here’s the info:

My Outline:
3 encouragements in esteeming marriage…
I. Honor It!   II. Protect It!  III. Sanctify It!
Questions:

What seemed to be the main emphasis of Sunday’s sermon and how did that resonate with you? 

Why do you think we tend to take so little time prioritizing the health of our marriages?
Other than the ones mentioned, in what ways can we seek to make marriage honorable before all?
What should be our response to those who have witnessed a dishonorable marriage from us?
What are some remedies for keeping the marriage bed undefiled?
How do we fight against the onslaught of the world around us and their thinking on $ex?
Why do we in the church shrink back from talking openly about marital relations?
Why does the writer of Hebrews go to such lengths to remind us that God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous in this passage?
How does remembering God will judge inspire you to action?
What applications need to be made in your life in light of Sunday?

If you discuss this with your spouse, maybe spend time in prayer together afterwards to help draw you together as one.

Weekend Recap – Esteeming Marriage

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My sermon from 9/23/12AM entitled Esteeming Marriage from Hebrews 13:4 is now online.  While many in our culture scoff at what the church thinks of marriage, God calls His people to live in such a way that marriage is honored among all.  He also calls us to pursue the purity of marital relations as well as seek holiness in light of His sure judgment.  All of these thoughts led this sermon to conclusions like: Honor marriage!  Protect marriage! Sanctify marriage!

Hope you had a great Lord’s Day and God richly blesses your week.

Paul Tripp on Marriage

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I’ve used Paul Tripp’s What Did You Expect? to walk with people in pre-marital, marriage enrichment, or marriage class about 5 times since it came out and continue to commend it.

As he begins in session 1 of this, he says “A marriage of unity, understanding, and love is not rooted in romance; it is rooted in worship.”  As you think about your relationship, how is worship affecting you?  We must put our identity over our activity (to quote Tripp again).  We won’t honor God in our marriages until we honor God in our marriages.  He must be supreme.

Today, look at what your heart is revealing as the true source of worship and see if this isn’t just part of what God is seeking to change in you.