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Losing My Mom’s Mom (Tribute To Gma L)

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This past week has been a whirlwind for our family.  I was planning a quick trip to my Mom’s with the boys to take in a Cardinal game and on the day I was set to leave, we got word that my Gma (Mom’s mom) had taken a turn for the worse and she was gone by Noon on Sunday (July 7).  We loaded up the family for the drive to my Mom’s and ended up staying around 9 days, helping our family in various ways.  For my kids, it was a chance to connect with their cousins.  For the adults, it was time to stand with our family in remembrance, then dig through all the leftover stuff, and begin to start to figure out where do we go from here.  Here’s the eulogy (or remembrance) of her life I gave at the service:

Eulogy for Peggy LeMay
The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:1 that “for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”  I use this passage of Scripture every time I get the privilege to be a part of remembering someone’s life because it reminds me that the Bible is a practical book, full of help no matter where we are.  Today, as we grieve the loss of Evelyn (Peggy) Lemay, who I knew as Gma, the Bible is up to the challenge of meeting me where I am.  And, as a pastor, I would say to you that no matter where you’re at, the Bible can meet you where you are.  We learn in the Bible that this there is a time for everything under heaven. 
A time to give birth…
Grandma was born on Monday, November 12, 1917 in Franklin County, Illinois the daughter of Clyde and Euna (May) Ezell.
A time to die…
                  She died at 12:15 P.M. this past Sunday, July 7, 2013 at Green Tree in Mt. Vernon, Illinois.
The Bible says there’s a time to mourn and a time to dance…
While we are here to mourn the loss of Grandma, we’re really happy for her right now.  Her faith has become sight.  Her suffering and pain in this life is over.  Today, we want to celebrate Gma’s life and remember those great memories we have of her.  These past few years have been hard on the family as Gpa and Gma declined in health.  I know many of us saw firsthand this slow decline has been an ever pressing pointer that one day, mourning would come.   So, this is a time to mourn.  We’ll miss this amazing woman.  We’ll miss her humor.  Which, leads us to that time to dance.  One memory we heard about was how when she was a little girl, her dad would make her dance for company that would come over.  She would dance the Charleston for them.  Some of the family got Gma to replicate this dance routine on the beach in South Carolina one year.  So, when the Bible speaks of a time to mourn and dance, we think of Gma. 
There’s also a time to plant…
                  Planting reminds us of a couple things about Grandma…
1) Much like Gpa, she planted into her family.  She married Everett on December 6, 1942 in Mt. Vernon and was a loyal wife to him for the 69 years God gave them together.  They had 3 children – Pat, My Mom (Linda), and Carl.  Pat married Tom and they had some children: Chad, who preceded Gma to heaven, Krista, and Stefani.  Krista and Stefani gave Gpa & Gma more great grandkids with Ava, Jordan, Aaron and Randon.  Linda married Rick, who also preceded Gma to heaven and had me, Holly and Clint.  Our spouses, Meghan, Todd and Melissa gave us a host of other great grandkids: Andrew, Gabe, Lauren, Micah, Leah, Anna, Ethan, Tyler,  Caleb and Bella.  On top of this family, Grandma was a regular player in the Lemay Family Reunion festivities and also spent lots of time planting into her Ezell family.  I know when I was younger, Grandma was there to serve and care for her Mom, making those trips to Benton and West Frankfort often.
2) For those of us who knew Grandma closely, though, when we hear of a time to plant this immediately makes us think of her selfless service to the needs of others.  This began with her faithfulness to Grandpa.  She was so patient with him.  The Bible speaks of a time to keep silenceand Gma would quietly follow Gpa where he went.  Grandpa was a man with a plan.  He would sometimes point that finger in Gma’s back to get her moving.  Or, stop the car and hop out to go somewhere, walking before Gma got out of the car, but she was there for him and was the love of his life.  I remember traveling with them and stopping only to have Gma pull out of the bags around her feet a bag of cookies (or sometimes lunch) and a thermos of coffee to get grandpa the boost to keep him buzzing.  The mug of coffee and cookie really gave us all the shot in the arm we needed, cause Grandma could cook. 
Grandma planted into the lives of others as a cosmetic dealer.  Many of us ended up getting Vanda for Christmas because of Gma.  She was also an accomplished author.  I was in a Barnes and Noble about 8 years ago and saw the Pastors Wives Cookbook and there, on numerous pages, was the peppering of recipes from one Peggy Lemay. We also have pages of journals that she wrote telling us her story.    
As a matter of fact, many of my memories growing up surrounded Gma in the kitchen.  Whether it was fixing me what I liked or creating traditions that we will never forget like cheesy carrots, White Christmas pie or cookies on demand.  Even the funeral home people commented on how Gma would bring cookies to them.  She simply planted her life in service to Grandpa and others.  She was a faithful pastor’s wife in each setting God led them.  And, at the base of this was a love for God.  The Bible tells us that Jesus didn’t come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many.  While Grandma wasn’t perfect, she did embody this life of service to others.  You could say that she decreased so that others could increase.
The Bible contrasts a time to tear with a time to sew…
Gma could sew.  If you entered that room where she spent her last hours, you’d see the fruit of that labor.  She had that meticulous eye.  I have something she sewed in my kitchen at home.  And, Gma was skilled in this.  She also loved her bling bling.  She loved jewelry.  She was a ladies’ lady.  Exhibiting grace in her appearance and living, what spoke loud from her was her quiet, submissive spirit. 
The Scriptures speak of A time to embrace…
Grandma always did this.  The ladies that cared for her in the nursing home told me that Grandma was always loving on them.  The Bible also mentions a time to heal and being wrapped up in this loving woman was very healing for all of us.  And, again, each of us who are family remember the love of this woman: Grandma giving us that kiss on the cheek.  Her tender care for each of us made us melt with the love in which we were enveloped.  She was that good grandma you always envisioned.
A time to laugh…
We have so many lighthearted memories of Grandma which bring a smile to our faces.  I think of her leaning by Mom’s back door with her foot up on the counter like Holly.  Or, after one of our post-Christmas shopping trips, hiding some purchases from Grandpa in the bushes out front.  Or hiding stuff in general.  Once when they moved, Grandma would load the car under the cloak of darkness, so that Gpa didn’t discard any of her “treasures.”  Or, to use Biblical language, Grandma viewed most things as a time to keep whereas Gpa saw things as a time to throw away.  There’s so many Christmas and vacation memories I have, as well. 

Above all, I am grateful to God for giving me such an amazing woman as a grandmother.  Seeing the legacy that she left on our family, the way she selflessly served others, her faithfulness through the thick and thin of church life, the skill she had in cooking.   These are the type of amazing gifts that God gave us in this woman and we praise Him today for her. 

Weekend Recap – God’s Horrific Judgment

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My 7/7/13 AM sermon, God’s Horrific Judgment, from Revelation 9 is now online.  Judgment is a buzz in our culture.  All kinds of people are critical of others judging them, yet God’s judgment is perfectly right.  While we may question or wonder why He is the way He is, God is the standard of right that we must reckon with.  This sermon, then, sought to show what God’s judgment looks like and how it should inspire God’s people to be deep worshipers of Him, excel in loving others and honest about the story of the Bible.  As always, God extends mercy to those who will listen, repent and believe His Word.  I hope this sermon encourages you.

Dangerous Calling Email – The Evidence Is In

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Here’s my email to Elders and Deacons at Crestview for 7/2/13:

We continue to work through by weekly email the book Dangerous Calling. I hope, on one level, you are at least considering what I write each week.  I think it was McCheyne who said that the greatest need of our people is our personal holiness.  In other words, our pursuit of being a godly leader will have residual effects in the life of our church.  Today, Tripp points out, in chapter 6 on p.85, what for many of us is the obvious: “you know that every day you give personal empirical evidence that you have not yet arrived.  Every day you think, desire, say and do things that point to the existence of remaining sin within your heart.  Since this is true of us, is it not also true that we need to live in a willingly submissive commitment to God’s normal means of protecting and growing his still-being-sanctified children?”  Yes, Yes, Yes.  We need this. 

Consider your life and walk at Crestview.  Do you give the appearance you’ve arrived?  Or would others be aware that you are a sinner growing in holiness like them?  Let’s avail ourselves to the ministry of the body of Christ and watch God use this for His glory and the good of our people.

LRC Email – Moving Forward

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Here’s my email to leaders in Reno County on engaging unusual voices today (7/1/13):

Today’s the final installment on “Engaging Unusual Voices.”  You might remember where we’ve been as we’ve quickly surveyed the waters of this important topic: we’ve talked about why it’s important to engage them, why we don’t do it more often, and who are the usual vs. the unusual voices.  Today, I hope you feel the urge to engage unusual voices in deeper ways, so we conclude very practically with some Steps on How to Engage Unusual Voices:
·         Pinpoint who will be impacted by a cause or decision.
·         Build a trustworthy process.
·         Learn to listen differently: Come to conversations with empathy, not expertise.
·         Don’t just engage unusual voices for input, engage them for decision making.
·         Meet them where they are.
Again, I’m grateful for the Kansas Leadership Centerfor having this conference call last fall.  And, I hope as we engage unusual voices, the effect will be a more engaged and connected community, making progress on issues we care about deeply.

With you to that end…

Weekend Recap – Seals, Prayers and Trumpets

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My 6/30/13AM sermon, Seals, Prayers and Trumpets from Revelation 8 is now online.  This sermon sought to show how the prayers of believers relate to God’s plan, specifically His plan of unfolding judgment upon the created world and sinful humanity.  My hope is that through this sermon, perseverance in prayer was nurtured and believers were encouraged.

Hope you had a great Lord’s Day.

Dangerous Calling Email – Simple Question

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My 6/25/13 email based on Paul Tripp’s Dangerous Calling book to elders and deacons of Crestview Bible Church:

We continue to work through Dangerous Calling thoughts this year.  Specifically, we’re following up on chapters that were recommended to read following up on Sessions 5-6 of the DVD.  Chapters 5, 6, and 11 are encouraged to be some follow up on these sessions. 
There’s a profound question at the beginning of chapter 5 that I would encourage you to consider: “Who am I and what do I spiritually need?”  When was the last time you considered this?  Why not today?  I’d like you take some time and spend 5 minutes honestly considering this question.  Journal some thoughts or write a reflection and then act accordingly.  Maybe there’s a cry out for help you need to make.  Maybe there’s some sort of follow up you need to pursue.  Whatever God stirs in you, consider this question, then avail yourself to the body of Christ. 

With you in this journey…

LRC Email – Usual vs. Unusual

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My 6/24/13AM email to Leadership Reno County alumni:

I want to continue pressing this idea of engaging unusual voices for 2 reasons: 1) It’s something that I don’t do very naturally.  I tend to default into “I’m-the-expert-and-have-this-figured-out-and-don’t-want-to-waste-time-talking-to-others” mode.  So, I need this content.  Also, 2) it was the content of a card sent out by the KLC summarizing a conference call on October 4, 2012.  This info is super-duper helpful.
Here are 2 groups of 3…
3 Examples of Usual Voices:
– People in positions of authority
– Individuals with significant influence surrounding an issue
– Those who frequently participate and show-up
3 Examples of Unusual Voices:
– Those perceived to have little or no influence
– People not actively engaged
– Individuals who are invited to the table but whose ideas are not heard
So, which group gets your attention?  And, what do you envision to positive and negative effects being of engaging these more unusual voices?  Today, why don’t you consider one such voice you could engage and seek to see what they might offer in helping you progress in your area. 

With you in this adventure of engaging in acts of leadership…

Dangerous Calling Email – Chapter 5

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For today’s email to Crestview’s leadership on Paul Tripp’s Dangerous Calling book, I had one of our deacons, Benjamin Oard, write some reflections on chapter 5.  Here’s what he writes:

The most interesting part of each chapter for me have been personal stories and experiences Paul Tripp shares. I've been able to identify with each of those stories on some level. The story in Chapter 5 of Joe and his life being totally consumed by the stress of circumstance, ministry, and family. This stress transformed his daily mindset into a "survival" mode. I remember reading that particular story and immediately identifying with Joe. More importantly, I remember reading the terrifying response of Joe's wife..."I can't stand what it has done to Joe and our family, I just can't do it anymore." 

Survival is the mindset I easily drift towards. My energy is exhausted by the stress at work, craziness with three small children at home, and helping lead ministry. I've use the "can do" attitude in the past, and believe me that isn't enough. Going through the motions and putting on a good face will not get it done. Personal devotions and reading books won't revitalize me towards the father, husband, and employee I'm called to be. 

Paul Tripp gives us eight essential means of grace that can help minister to each of us. I'm just going to highlight two that I've benefited from:
1) Seek out a spiritually mature person to mentor you at all times. Bob Guthrie and I have met for a few years now. He never tells me what I want to hear (makes you wonder why I keep going back?) The Spirit works through others to minister to each of us. I get great encouragement sharing and asking for wisdom in the seemingly overwhelming circumstances I face. The question is, "Will we take advantage of that means of grace?"

2) Make there is someone regularly mentoring your wife . This is just as important. Jandee did this without me encouraging her to do so. This is such a great tool for young mothers. I'm not sure there is a more draining job than a stay at home mom.  She needs community and takes advantage of this much better than I do.

I hope your encouraged by chapter 5 and were able to benefit from the material Paul Tripp illustrated so well.

LRC Email – Catch Valve and Voices

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Here’s the email I sent to Leadership Reno County alums today on engaging unusual voices:

Recently had some plumbing problems and had to put in a catch valve in our sump pump pipe.  Now, I’m not the handiest person when it comes to this, but I do understand the thought here.  The catch valve insures the sump keeps making progress.
In a sense, that’s what engaging unusual voices is all about.  It’s helping all kinds of people make progress on things they care about.
So, if this such a great concept, why don’t we engage unusual voices more often?
– We don’t set high enough standards for ourselves in how we connect with people and build relationships.
– It’s risky.  Usual voices fear losing their status or influence.
– Fear.  We gravitate toward what’s comfortable.
– Time. Engaging unusual voices requires time people are unwilling to give.
– Assumptions.  Those without influence are often assumed to lack expertise.
Anytime and every time is a good time to engage unusual voices.
(taken from a Kansas Leadership Center Conference Call summary)

Today, then, engage in an act of leadership by going after the unusual voices so that you make progress on the issue you care about.