From One Degree to Another

As we think today, again, about our marriages, I have been reminded this weekend about my heart and the way it plays with my emotions and physical well-being. The heart responds to conflict (whether “good” or “bad” conflict) by interpreting the circumstances and reacting according. In their book, How People Change, Paul Tripp and Timothy Lane describe this stage as thorns or how do you react?/what do you want and believe? In commenting on this, they write:

You and I are never passive. We always respond to the Heat (or Rain) in our lives. Maybe it’s a tough boss or a crazy extended family, a rebellious child or a chronic sickness. Maybe it’s a new career opportunity or a newly acquired inheritance. Whatever it is; the Bible helps us see how we react to the Heat in our hearts and our outward behavior. It reminds us that sinners respond to the fallen world sinfully, and each reaction yields a harvest of consequences.

Thorns are about the Biblical category of “fleshly wisdom,” those foolish responses that come all too naturally to us when hard things happen. Someone speaks unkindly to us, so we let our bitterness grow. Something unexpected happens and we respond by denying, avoiding, blaming, or seeking to take control. Negative things come our way and we allow ourselves to doubt God and let our participation in worship and ministry wane. We are blessed with unexpected money and we spend it on ourselves. We don’t get the raise we thought we deserve, so we work halfheartedly.

Scripture makes it clear thse responses are not forced upon us by the pressures of the situation. What I do comes from inside me. The things that happen to me will influence my responses but never determine them. Rather, these responses flow out of the thoughts and motives of my heart. This is why you can have five people in the same situation with five different responses!

There is so much wisdom in these words. Our hearts are revealed in how we respond and handle difficult situations. In marriage then (or any interpersonal relationship for that matter) we need to be concerned about our own hearts and how events coming our way are being interpreted and actions are happening accordingly. Our hearts are at the center of this. Labor to have a heart, then, that glorifies God.

A recent article by Rich Richardson at the NA Blog asks some great questions about the Gospel’s influence into the everyday facets of life. It’s entitled Gospel & Ministry.

(HT: Thabiti)

I’m slowly reading through Kent and Barbara Hughes’ book Liberating Ministry From the Success Syndrome. In chapter 3, Success Is Faithfulness, they are talking about how Moses effectively “ministered” by providing water from the rock. All of earth seemed to suggest that this ministry was effective. The problem came in that God had commanded Moses to speak to the rock, not strike it. Moses had disobeyed. After relaying this narrative, Kent and Barbara write:

This tremendous lesson from the life of Moses teaches us that one can be regarded as hugely successful in the ministry and yet be a failure. It is possible to give people exactly what they need–the practical exposition of God’s Word, inspiring worship, programs that wonderfully meet human needs–and yet be a failure. It is possible to be held up as a paragon of success and to receive the ardent accolades of one’s people and be a failure.

I wonder how much of our ministries are successful not because of faithfulness to God and what He’s called us to do, but because we have pragmatic success. It is easy to be driven by pragmatism and think that because good things are happening, we are successful. God, however, has a different standard. May God make us faithful.

Tomorrow night at HomeWord, we are going to be looking at issues that relate to money in marriage. One resource I will be highlighting is Randy Alcorn‘s excellent work, Money, Possessions and Eternity.

You can read more information about Randy Alcorn, his ministry, and some good free online resources at his website: Eternal Perspective Ministries.

Since making a transition in my pulpit ministry to the English Standard Version, I have had numerous people come to me looking for study Bibles or other versions of the ESV. Most stores don’t carry this version and some wonder why. Well, if you are considering purchasing an ESV, you may hustle over to Westminster Books, where you can get a 45% off discount on ESVs. (Oh, and they have consistent $5 shipping no matter what you buy, delivered to your doorstep by UPS.)

Chris Elrod recommendeded taking the blog readability test. Evidently, my posts are at this level:

I really don’t know what this means. Maybe I need to write in a different fashion. Oh, well, I hope I’m being of service.

My good friend, Conor Eastman, has a new blog called simplify. glorify. Check it out and expect good things from him.

For today’s Marriage Monday post, I am also combining with my free audio recommendation to commend to you a sermon by C.J. Mahaney entitled Overcoming the Fear of Rejection. This sermon is a free download from Sovereign Grace Ministries. This sermon is also part of a larger series entitled Overcoming the Fear of Man.

The Sov Grace website gives the following description:

Does a fear of rejection dictate your life and bind you? It can be overcome. The Bible says that fear of man is a snare–one you don’t want constraining you.

Beginning with examples from his own life, C.J. Mahaney shares what the fear of man looks like. He defines it as an “excessive, sinful concern about what others think of us–an inordinate desire for human approval or an intense feeling of being rejected.” He leads his listeners in discerning if the fear of man rules in their lives.

What I found especially convicting and provoking was about the 20 minute mark when C.J. asked something to the effect of “Do you children see in you a passion for God, family and the local church? or do they see passion for other things?” This sermon, then, has some great application for our parenting. I think, also, though, even if you don’t have children, your marriage could benefit by learning the harmful excesses in which the fear of man can raise its head.

Fight the fear of man by availing yourself to God’s grace in this sermon.

Justin Taylor has written an article for Boundless.org entitled “Love & Marriage: Luther Style“.

I read Memoirs of An Ordinary Pastor by D.A. Carson (visit this link to read the intro and chapter 1) in 2 days and couldn’t hardly put it down. (C.J.’s review is online as well.) This book is the biography of D.A. Carson’s father, Tom Carson, who was a pastor in Quebec. This fascinating story had at least 3 effects upon me:

1) I was encouraged in my pastoral labor. This book is filled with the details of how Tom Carson visited and cared for the people to whom God had entrusted him. It also outlines some ways in which Tom sought to care for his family in family worship and encourage them in ministry.

2) I was encouraged in my current calling. While many in modern evangelicalism feel the need to flee to other and better things once the greener pastures call, Tom Carson’s faithfulness for the rather small (numerically) field to which God had called him is a good picture of what God normally does in the lives of pastors. God calls us to faithfulness. He calls us and isn’t luring us away with more money, more people, or more opportunity (those are worldly things). Christ calls us to follow Him, not the world, as we do that, we can achieve faithfulness in our calling no matter the size of the congregation, the pay they offer, or the opportunity it affords.

3) I was encouraged to faithfulness through thick and thin. Tom Carson had his measure of trials. I was amazed, though, that during one especially critical season, he maintained godliness to such a degree that D.A. didn’t learn of his father’s involvement in a specific spat until he was in seminary in a history course. This just floors me. This is amazing faithfulness.

I would encourage this read, not only for pastors, but for anyone longing to drawn closer to God Himself. You will be encouraged in faithfulness. And, with only 160 or so pages, this book moves quickly. Enjoy!