In his book Brothers, We Are Not Professionals, John Piper urges pastors to love their wives. Included in this chapter is a poem written for his son Karsten when he was married. This line stuck out:

A double rule of love that shocks;
A doctrine in a paradox:
If you now aim your wife to bless,
Then love her more and love her less.

What is Piper getting at with these seemingly bizarre words? He is giving us some great, God-centered encouragement for how love for our spouses can be nurtured.

I would say at the outset here, that men, we are to take the lead in this. Our cue in loving our wives comes from Christ and the self-sacrificing, devoted love He displayed for His bride, the church. Men this is especially true of us.

Women, you aren’t exempt either. The teaching that accords with sound doctrine in Titus 2:1 involves training women to love their husbands. There are women who have misunderstandingly tried to appropriate their role as being submissive and respectful, but not loving. This isn’t a Scriptural notion. Women, nurture love for your husband.

Now, back to Piper, how does this happen.

1) It means loving your spouse more than you love yourself. You to put him or her above your own selfish desires. This is the essence of what love is in 1 Corinthians 13. If you want to have love for your spouse that is good and healthy, you have to die to the selfish things you want.

2) It means loving your spouse less than you love Jesus Christ. Don’t idolize your spouse. Don’t break the second commandment and put them above Jesus. Love Jesus supremely and the overflow of that love be a heartfelt, passionate love for your spouse.

So, as Piper would say, we confess and agree…

If you now aim your wife to bless,
Then lover her more and love her less.

Our leadership team has been really impressed with Tim Keller’s sermons and writings. Recently, Justin Taylor interviewed Keller about his upcoming book. It looks and sounds very exciting.

For today’s free audio of the week, I return to Piper. Piper preached a sermon entitled “Receive With Meekness the Implanted Word” on Sunday, January 6. Like our church, Piper’s church does a prayer week. The first Sunday is a sermon on prayer and the second is one on the Word of God. This was why this sermon was so encouraging to me. Healthy prayers (or in the case of our recent emphasis, Spiritual prayers) without the steady and life-giving flow that comes from God’s Word. Check out this sermon for yourself.

For today’s Marriage Monday post, I thought I would address the issue of communication and the heart. This past Friday at HomeWord, I preached a sermon from Matthew 12:33-37. In that text, Jesus is addressing the Pharisees who are opposing Him and saying His works are Satan’s. In responding to them, He demonstrates a vital principle about communication–it is birthed in the heart.

At one point in my sermon I said:

The problem is our hearts. Do you recognize your heart is the problem in conflict? Maybe you are into the Love Language crowd and think that if your love tank could be filled, this conflict wouldn’t ensue? The reality for us is that our problems are much deeper than an empty love tank. We are sinners. Our hearts are wicked. When there is conflict, there is a problem in our desires (according to James 4:1ff). We need the Gospel. We need Christ to come into our hearts and change them. Then we will respond with grace in situations. Then our speech will be affected. Only after our hearts are changed can we effectively communicate to the glory of God.

I would simply exhort you if you are having communication breakdowns to pay attention to your hearts:
1) Love the Lord your God with all your heart — center your heart on God.
2) Keep your heart with all diligence — Proverbs 4:23 encourages this. Your heart must be something you are consistently working on.
3) Pray that “the words of your mouth and the meditation of your heart” (Psalm 19:14) are pleasing to God. Throughout the Bible words are fused and related to the heart.

Encourage God-glorifying communication with deep pursuit of a heart that is fixed on Him.

Last night, as a church we gathered and watched Tim Keller’s message at the 2006 Desiring God National Conference entitled, “The Supremacy of Christ and the Gospel in a Postmodern World.” One area that I received a lot of feedback about was how Keller deconstructed defeaters. In this link, Keller is answering some of these. You might also look out for Keller’s forthcoming book, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism. Anyone care to post some thoughts on what stuck out to them from Keller’s compelling message?

For the first time, I am reading (at a slow pace too) Bryan Chapell’s outstanding book Christ Centered Preaching. In chapter 1, Word and Witness, he is discussing how expository preaching presents the work of the Spirit and highlights our need to be dependent on the Spirit of God. He continues:

Public ministry true to God’s purposes requires devoted private prayer. We should not expect our words to acquaint others with the power of the Spirit if we have not met with him. Faithful preachers plead for God to work as well as for their own accuracy, integrity, and skill in proclaiming his Word. Success in the pulpit ca be the force that leads a preacher from prayerful dependence on the Spirit. Congregational accolades for pulpit excellence may tempt one to put too much confidence in personal gifts, acquired skills, or a particular method of preaching. Succumbing to such a temptation is evidenced not so much by a change in belief as by a change in practice. Neglect of prayer signals serious deficiencies in a ministry even if other signs of success have not diminished. We must always remember that popular acclaim is not necessarily the same as spiritual effectiveness.

Cited in Chapell, Bryan. Christ Centered Preaching, Second Edition. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2005. p.33

Chapell’s words were sobering to me as I ponder my weak prayer life. I need to be devoted and reliant upon God as the gauge of my success rather than any feedback I receive from people.

In case you missed it, the new 9Marks E-Journal is online and covers the subject of corporate prayer. I hope to be encouraged with a thorough reading of it. Download it as a PDF or view it online.

Yes, we are still gone. We enjoyed spending the Lord’s Day at my Mom’s church. The SS lesson focused on God’s greatness from Psalm 145. Her pastor is preaching through Genesis, so was encouraged with a word on Jacob leaving Beersheba for Egypt (in Genesis 45).

As for other things, we are relaxing and really enjoying the slow pace here. Other than some time off in September, it’s been a busy Fall/Christmas season. We’ve been doing some odd things with Andrew, visited a former church my dad pastored, watched movies, and READ.

Got the blog updated with a new look and also got some resolutions written for the coming year. I’m using McCheyne’s Bible Reading Plan this year with D.A. Carson’s book (For the Love of God). I also enjoyed praying with the people of Crestview during our Week of Prayer. So, have been busy, but am enjoying vacation.

We have 2 more days of rest and are traveling back on Wednesday.

With the busyness of this holiday season coupled with my fervent attempt to get lots of work done with the day of Celebration tomorrow, wedding this weekend, and traveling Sunday for holiday at my Mom’s, I am going to take an official break from blogging. While I’m out, I may tweak design and some things like that, and hope to return after the first of the year with official, regular posts. You might keep an eye on the church website for upcoming sermons. Have a great New Year as well!

Yesterday morning was a great time in God’s Word. To think that “God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive adoption as sons” is a staggering thought.

I hope you can celebrate the joy of God’s Son, the Savior, being sent for you. Have a blessed holiday and a Merry Christmas.