During the coming weeks (leading to the February HomeWord), I will be thinking a lot about sexual intimacy in a marital relationship that glorfies God. I think often we have this notion that sexual intimacy is something that occurs without any preparation. C.J. Mahaney paints a different picture, though, in his excellent book Sex, Romance, and The Glory of God:
In a strong Christian marriage that glorifies God, a couple’s enjoyment of one another takes place on a long continuum of romantic affection and expression. It’s a continuum made up of many points. Toward one end are things like “companionship” and “fellowship.” Toward teh other end are things like “playful intimacy” and “really serious sex.” But exactly where one point on the continuum begins and the other ends isn’t always clear. That’s because solid Christian marriages are not primarily about one point or the other. They’re about the entire continuum — the relationship itself.
The path to physical intimacy, as another author suggests, “won’t be complete until you’ve cultivated spiritual and emotional intimacy.” How are you in relationship building with your spouse? Maybe what is needed is not therapy about better techinque or better swaying and convincing. What you need is to return to the love you had. Return to loving your spouse for all that they give you — not just the physical, sexual benefits. The path to physical intimacy begins with a love and affection for your spouse in the day to day living of life together. As romance is kindled, the physical intimacy will come and be in proper focus in view of God’s larger glory. Pursue romance in the day to day you will soon know physical intimacy.