For today’s Marriage Monday column, I thought I would give a word of encouragement that I heard in audio (again) from C.J. Mahaney. He also writes about this practice in Sex, Romance and the Glory of God. He writes:
What we love, we want to learn about. And what we love to study, we come to love even more. That’s just the way God has wired us. I love the Terps and the Skins; so learning about them and growing in my zeal for them was a totally natural process.
I still enjoy following these teams, but my strongest passions now lie elsewhere.
My highest and greatest love will always be reserved for God, for when I was his enemy and worthy of his righteous wrath, in his great mercy he sent his only Son to live a perfect life and die a perfect death in my place. But after my love for God, nothing compares to the passion I hold for Carolyn, my wife.
Because I have this passion for her, I have studied her. I’ve noticed and noted the details about her. All kinds of details. Everything from the kinds of snacks she likes, to what certain facial expressions reveal, to this one particular freckle pattern that only I see.
It has been my privilege to be a student of Carolyn since before our engagement. As I have studied her–seeking to learn what pleases, excites, honors, encourages, refreshes, and helps her–my love for her has only increased.
We need to heed C.J.’s good words here and never fail to increase in wisdom and knowledge as it pertains to those we love dearest. This will often happen, as C.J. later admits, in asking questions to draw them out. But pursue it. Study your family to know how you can best serve them. This will help your love and exercising of your role to be done in a way that honors God Himself.