Yes, Michael Bolton sang a song, “Time, Love and Tenderness”, No, that’s not necessarily what I’m talking about…
However, what I am talking about as I try to say something encouraging to married peeps is this…
Your marriage takes time. If you’re a newlywed, you need time to deepen in your relationship with this person you now live with. If you’re blessed with children, your marriage will start to be a time of juggling all the demands of the children and still prioritizing the primary relationship you have with your spouse. And, in my case, with a child in school now, I’m finding I need to do much better in strategizing to have time with my wife. Marriage takes time. I know you who have been married for a longer time would testify that time spent together is time well spent.
Marriage is also about love. Remember what the Bible presses upon us, especially in the LOVE chapter (said in Barry White’s voice), is that love is not so much what we say as much as how we live. Many people claim to love their spouse but then, through their actions say exactly the opposite. Jesus said that great love was laying down your life for your friends. Love means dying to selfish desire. And it is in this thinking of the other person above yourself that love thrives and grows.
Marriage is also about tenderness, meaning that we act towards our spouse in ways that are appropriate for the moment. I picture tenderness as carefully engaging my spouse in ways that are appropriate for the moment. I don’t neglect what kind of day she’s had. I don’t ignore what she needs. I try not to be blind to what she needs. Tenderness means that my heart of compassion is for her.
So, today, think of ways that you can take time, express love and be tender towards your spouse. It just might change your married life.