From One Degree to Another

Phil Auxier's Blog

Connect

Anniversary Week

by

10 Years!  This week, Meg and I celebrate 10 years of marriage.  Seems like only yesterday, the main application of any teaching I had was how this related to me finding a wife.  Now, I’m happily married (still!) and have been blessed with 4 children.  It’s been a crazy 10 years with plenty of ups and downs, good times and bad, but it’s been a blast.

Part of what makes the long term direction of marriage so difficult is due to selfishness.  So much of life turns on what we want as individuals.  God’s graciously wired marriage to be such a thing that selfishness will be exposed rather quickly.  Want to veg in front of a TV for long hours?  You’ll probably hear about it from your wife.  Want to burn every weekend doing what you alone want to do?  Gradually distance can be created in your relationship with your spouse.  Be on guard against selfishness — it’s actively working to undo what God’s done.

After all, what most of us remember about our wedding days is being so confident that God is the one who’s the great Matchmaker.  He’s the one who’s brought us to that spouse.  He’s the one who worked this out.  And, because this is something God has done, we shouldn’t work to separate it.  Yet, it can be so easy to do that.  It can be so easy to turn inward and do what I want at the expense of what God wants for me.

So, this week, I, for one, am praising God that He’s continually working in me to help me die to myself.  And, one principle way He’s working to do this is through marriage.  Meg is a divine tool from a loving God to shape me into His image.  It’s because this is true that marriage is a good thing.  I’m blessed to continue riding these waves.

Marriage is Dying

by

My sermon for Mike Vernon and Renee Swisher’s wedding is quoted below. I was “inspired” so to speak by reading Peter Leithart’s A Great Mystery: Fourteen Wedding Sermonswhich had a chapter on marriage being death. Here’s what I will say tonight:

Just one month ago, Time Magazine’s cover asked the question “Who Needs Marriage?” What the article in that cover story went on to show was that many in our nation and culture view marriage as an optional thing. The author, Belinda Luscombe argues that marriage is “in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be,” she has a rationale to back up her argument. “Neither men nor women need to be married to have sex or companionship or professional success or respect or even children.” This is the prevailing opinion of our culture. Marriage is dying.

But, we read in God’s Word that marriage isn’t an optional thing or just an afterthought but at the core of God’s plan for our lives (Read Genesis 2:18-25)

It wasn’t good that man and woman be alone, so God created the institution of marriage. God set this apart to be the foundation of our lives and society.

And tonight, I want you to remember that to have a successful marriage you must remember that marriage is dying. No, don’t just look to culture and what it says. Look to God. Notice that God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and from him created marriage. In other words, for marriage to thrive, you both must die to yourselves and to all the selfish things you would live for. God has told us that our lives are to be governed by 2 realities: loving God and loving others. So, die to yourselves and love God. As God is the priority of your life, loving Renee, Mike and loving Mike, Renee, will inevitably follow.

We know this is the standard because this love is found in God Himself. God didn’t choose selfishness in showing His love for us, but while we were still sinners Christ died for us. And Christ gave Himself for us rather than choosing His own way or the path that was most convenient. For Him to love His people, dying had to occur. Today, Mike & Renee, remember that marriage is dying, and see if you don’t look like your Lord and Savior. May God allow you to live this way.

Happy Anniversary Baby…

by

Today, I am in North Carolina, visiting one of our missionaries and, in so doing, missing an opportunity to celebrate my 5th Anniversary with the dearest gift God has ever given me: my wife.

5 years ago today, I made this vow before God and the witnesses present, and I happily confess it again today before all who will hear:

My Dearest Meg,

I kneel before you today a frail man in this holy and happy moment. As I make this vow, I realize the seriousness of it. First of all, I am making this vow before our God. God knows our hearts and vowing before Him is a serious thing. Secondly, I am vowing these things to you. You are the only woman I’ll ever say these things to. You know me well and love me in spite of my weaknesses, so this makes it a serious vow. Finally, I am making this vow before all our family and friends. They will be witnesses to make this serious, so I do not make this vow lightly.

Meg, it seems like yesterday God brought us together. I was a whining single person trying to find contentment and you were that chipper little Sonic employee. I remember walking into Sonic and seeing you, knowing that something was different. I remember the great foundation we had in this relationship—diving into the Scriptures, understanding God’s love and praying together. In those moments, God set us on a path to make us one. You are my greatest supporter, my biggest encourager, my best friend, and my devotion. I vow to you today to seek to love you as Christ loved the church. This selfless, sacrificial model will be what I seek to imitate. Not just loving you, but leading you in humble service will be my aim all my days. I want you to increase through my decreasing. I promise to cling to you alone all the days of my life and, someday, when this life ends, may I have led and loved you in such a way that you declare – the body they may kill, God’s truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever.

My God, I make this vow before You, knowing it is Your love and headship that makes it possible. Before the foundation of the world, You set Your affection on me, when I was an unworthy, unlovely sinner. You sent Your Son to die on the cross and rise from the dead to demonstrate Your love. May Your grace enable me to be a man worthy of such a woman. May You continually teach me what loving leadership looks like, so that when my life on this earth is over, I may be able to say – the body they may kill, Your truth abideth still, Your kingdom is forever.

I pledge to be all this I am so that Meghan is all she can be. God, will you make us one, as the fellowship the Godhead enjoys is one? I promise all these things before my God, you Meghan, and all these witnesses, this 28th day of August, 2004, that God may be greatly glorified in us, as we pursue glorifying and enjoying Him, forever. AMEN.

As a token of my love to you — promising to love you as Christ loved the church — and promising to lead you in humble service — I give you this ring. — May it remind you of the God who set His love on you — and a husband seeking to imitate that love. — May God perfect this marriage to His glory — in the name of the Father — and of the Son — and of the Holy Spirit. — Amen.

I love you, princess, and hope that God gives you a great day pondering His work in us.