For today’s Marriage Monday segment, I am going to begin a brief series on conflict. We all face it. Conflict exists in most any authentic relationship we have. This is especially highlighted when it comes to marriage. James 4:1 asks: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” This is such a revealing thing. Conflict begins in the heart of people. It doesn’t come because someone did something to us. We are not helpless victims. For instance, if you say, I have a problem with that person because of what they did to me. What you are probably admitting is that you have a selfish desire to save face. Pride is at work in you to protect your own honor, therefore, you are going to have conflict with this person because of what they’ve done.
Not all conflict is bad. For instance, when you have been sinned against, it is a great opportunity to rehearse the Gospel and all that God has done for you in Christ. When we are the instigators and sin agaist someone, it is a reminder that we are in need of forgiveness just as God in Christ has forgiven us. Conflict is no small matter.
This is especially true in marriage. We need to be loving by being patient, kind, tenderhearted, forgiving. We need to be longsuffering. We need to be aware of how our own sinful hearts are at work to create conflict. As we begin to understand our own hearts, conflict will be squelched in way that distinctly brings glory to God.
(more to come on this next week…)