In a timely post in light of this weekend, John Piper provides some questions to ask when preparing for marriage. Enjoy!
* What do you believe about…everything?
* Perhaps read through the Desiring God Affirmation of Faith to see where each other is on various biblical doctrines.
* Discover how you form your views. What is the reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible?
Worship and Devotion
* How important is corporate worship? Other participation in church life?
* How important is it to be part of a small accountability/support group?
* What is the importance of music in life and worship?
* What are your daily personal devotional practices? Prayer, reading, meditation, memorization.
* What would our family devotions look like? Who leads out in this?
* Are we doing this now in an appropriate way: praying together about our lives and future, reading the Bible together?
Husband and Wife
* What is the meaning of headship and submission in the Bible and in our marriage?
* What are expectations about situations where one of you might be alone with someone of the opposite sex?
* How are tasks shared in the home: cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, yard work, car upkeep, repairs, shopping for food, and household stuff?
* What are the expectations for togetherness?
* What is an ideal non-special evening?
* How do you understand who and how often sex is initiated?
* Who does the checkbook—or are there two?
* If and when, should we have children? Why?
* How many?
* How far apart?
* Would we consider adoption?
* What are the standards of behavior?
* What are the appropriate ways to discipline them? How many strikes before they’re…whatever?
* What are the expectations of time spent with them and when they go to bed?
* What signs of affection will you show them?
* What about school? Home school? Christian school? Public school?
* Own a home or not? Why?
* What kind of neighborhood? Why?
* How many cars? New? Used?
* View of money in general. How much to the church?
* How do you make money decisions?
* Where will you buy clothes: Department store? Thrift store? In between? Why?
* How much money should we spend on entertainment?
* How often should we eat out? Where?
* What kind of vacations are appropriate and helpful for us?
* How many toys? Snowmobile, boat, cabin?
* Should we have a television? Where? What is fitting to watch? How much?
* What are the criteria for movies and theater? What will our guidelines be for the kids?
* What makes you angry?
* How do you handle your frustration or anger?
* Who should bring up an issue that is bothersome?
* What if we disagree both about what should be done, and whether it is serious?
* Will we go to bed angry at each other?
* What is our view of getting help from friends or counselors?
* Who is the main breadwinner?
* Should the wife work outside the home? Before kids? With kids at home? After kids?
* What are your views of daycare for children?
* What determines where you will locate? Job? Whose job? Church? Family?
* Is it good to do things with friends but without spouse?
* What will you do if one of you really likes to hang out with so and so and the other doesn’t?
Health and Sickness
* Do you have, or have you had any, sicknesses or physical problems that could affect our relationship? (Allergies, cancer, eating disorders, venereal disease, etc.)
* Do you believe in divine healing and how would prayer relate to medical attention?
* How do you think about exercise and healthy eating?
* Do you have any habits that adversely affect health?